Counselling is a plain, present-focused talk. Therapy often brings a method and more structure. Here is what changes for you, where DBT fits, and how to choose a room you can use.
Short answer. Counselling with me is a plain, present-focused conversation that stays close to your days and what you try next. Therapy often brings a named method and more structure. Choose the room that you can actually use this week, whether that is a freer talk or a programme like DBT with skills you practise between sessions.
In short:
I am Satlaj Sachan, a counsellor in Bengaluru, practising since 2015. We keep it simple. Counselling here is a plain conversation about your days, the loops you repeat, then a couple of small moves you might try next. Rafiq means the friend who walks with you, and that is the posture in my room.
Sessions stay close to daily life, the part that does not make it into long bios or neat labels. Often we pull on one loose thread from your week, the 2 pm slump followed by the 11 pm surge, and see what moves when you touch it. I prefer live experiments over long explanations. Small, honest changes tend to teach faster than neat theories.
Therapy, depending on the practitioner, often brings a named method and a firmer frame. CBT or DBT come with a plan you can see on paper and specific skills to try between sessions. Clear plans help some. Fit matters more than labels; a kind room you can use beats a fancy method you cannot stand, because you will come back to a space that feels workable when life is loud.
On your first chat, ask for a picture of the first month. Try: 'What would we actually do in weeks one and two, and what would you expect me to try between meetings?' Notice whether you get a concrete answer, and notice your shoulders while you listen. A good fit often shows up as steadier breath and a little more appetite that evening, or a quieter head on your commute home.
DBT teaches skills in four areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Many programmes set a clear calendar with skills groups, individual sessions, home practice, and a shared language for what you are trying. Decide for this week. Talk therapy stays freer; the plan grows from the conversation you and the counsellor are actually having in the room.
I offer counselling. For a DBT programme, ask for DBT by name when you reach out and ask about the format they run. To compare providers who list methods clearly, TheMindClan is a useful directory with filters. If you want a broader primer first, read Which therapy is best for mental health? before you choose.
In a short first chat, I look for two things: whether you feel understood and whether the plan sounds usable on a Tuesday. Keep it very small. After you hang up, walk to the kitchen or the lift lobby, look out of a window, notice your breath and shoulders, and check if the floor under you feels a notch more solid. If lunch has a taste again, I pay attention.
Use the first chat to ask for specifics, then give yourself a quiet ten minutes after to notice what shifted, and drink some water before you scroll. If you feel oddly anxious that evening, this piece explains what is common: Why am I anxious after my first session?. You can test my room with a first conversation that is thirty minutes and free, booked through a short form.
Make two small experiments. Speak to two practitioners who look promising, then watch your body that evening and the next morning: sleep, appetite, the jolt when the phone rings, whether you can sit by the window without scrolling, and whether you open your laptop as a reflex or can leave it shut till morning. Polite words can lie. Your pulse does not.
Keep a one-page log for the first month. After each session, write four short lines: what you tried, what shifted in your week, what felt off, and what you want next. That page makes drift obvious. If your fog feels more like restlessness than sadness, this read can help you sort it: Am I depressed or just bored?.
When the focus is the two of you rather than you alone, couples services like Untangle or Heart It Out are set up for that focus, and write one line tonight about what hurts most to take to that room.
Is counselling short term and therapy long term?
People use both in short and long runs. Length depends on what you want to change, how much room your week gives you, and how the fit feels once you start. Ask the practitioner: 'What would a reasonable initial run look like for my aim, and how will we review?' Then block those slots in your calendar and test it rather than guessing.
Can I start with counselling and add DBT later?
Yes, many people layer methods over time. You can keep a conversational base to think through choices, and use DBT to learn skills you try between meetings. The honest cost is bandwidth. Protect your calendar and pick what you can actually attend. If you pause one to focus on the other, say so and agree how you will resume.
How do I say I do not want worksheets?
Say it early. Try: 'I do better with talking and trying small things in my week. Can we keep it that way, or use worksheets only if they help me?' A good practitioner will tell you how flexible their frame is. Then you can decide if that room still fits, without second-guessing yourself for weeks.
What if I feel worse after the first session?
That happens. New rooms stir things up, and your body can feel jumpy after speaking plainly. Plan a soft landing after the call: a walk, a shower, a warm drink, and simple food. This explains what is common and what to expect: Why am I anxious after my first session?.
How do I know if medication might help?
That decision belongs to a psychiatrist. They will look at your history and current symptoms, plus what you want from treatment, then discuss options. You can ask: what they recommend and why, and which side effects are common. Also ask what signs would suggest adjusting or stopping. Counselling can run alongside medication, or you can space it out.
Written by Satlaj Sachan, a counsellor in Bengaluru working Book a first conversation.