Grief is not only funerals. If your loss is shaping your days and you cannot carry it alone, grief counselling could help. Here is how I think about that room.
Short answer. If your loss is shaping most days and you cannot carry it alone, grief counselling is worth considering. If life is moving again and you have steady support, you may not need a room like mine. A short first conversation will usually make this clearer.
In short:
Grief is a change. Sometimes it follows a death, sometimes a breakup, a move across cities, a miscarriage, a sudden illness, or the end of work that gave you structure, money, meaning, and a way to recognise yourself each morning. Loss has many shapes, and the body often figures it out before the mind catches up.
Some people cry most nights, avoid certain rooms, sleep oddly, or forget meals and water. Others look fine in public and then fall apart on dates, in grocery aisles, at traffic lights, or when a song in a cab opens a door they had kept shut. Both are common reactions after loss.
Think about your days. Are you stuck in loops you cannot exit for weeks at a time, snapping at people you like, cancelling most plans, drinking more than usual, or keeping busy so you never have to be still with what happened? Counselling gives you a steady hour where the loss is allowed on the table, without making you perform it.
Some people come because work is wobbling and they want to keep their job. Others come because friends feel tired of hearing it, or because festivals are close and the thought of performing cheer feels wrong. If you are second-guessing your feelings, this may help: Do I need therapy or am I overreacting?.
I sit with you. There is no diagnosis and no attempt to fix anything, and I will not push you to re-live moments to prove the loss is real; you tell me what matters today and we work with that. We go at your pace, in English or Hindi, over video or in person in Bengaluru.
Rafiq, the name from my podcast running since 2020, means the friend who walks with you. A first conversation is thirty minutes and free, and booking runs through a short form first. I have been practising since 2015 with adults roughly 25 to 45, and I have worked with more than 140 people in that time. We can meet on video or in person in Bengaluru.
Safety comes first here. If you feel at risk of harming yourself or someone else, or cannot get through the night, please call Tele-MANAS, India's free 24/7 mental health helpline, on 14416. A call can buy you time and company while we figure the next step together. After that, we can talk.
Medication can matter sometimes. I am not a doctor and cannot prescribe, so if we both think tablets could help, I will refer you to a psychiatrist or your GP. This room is one-to-one with adults roughly 25 to 45; if you are outside that, I will point you to someone else.
We look at days. Where you keep the shirts, which routes you now avoid, what you did with the messages, how mornings feel, and what the people around you expect that you cannot or will not agree to anymore. We also name the good: tiny moments that do not erase the loss, like the first night you slept four hours and woke with less panic.
Grief and depression can tangle. If you want a feel for how I think about low mood, this piece helps: Depression as flatness rather than sadness. When anxious energy rises, you might find Am I depressed or anxious? a clearer starting point before we meet. We can hold both threads and notice which one tugs harder this month, without forcing a label or a plan you cannot use.
Rituals sometimes help. Lighting a lamp, giving away shirts, cooking one favourite dish on a date, or writing a private letter you never send. I will not design these for you. We can try small experiments, keep what steadies you, drop what feels performative, and leave anything that makes the day heavier.
Send the form first. I will reply with times for a free thirty-minute conversation, on video or in person in Bengaluru, and you can see if my way of working fits the kind of support you want right now. There is no commitment after that.
Some weeks I host a small gathering in a cafe in HSR, Bengaluru. Five or so people sit for an hour with tea. It is not counselling, and the day moves around, so write if you want the next date. Quiet company can help when formal hours feel too stiff.
Is grief counselling only for a death in the family?
No. People grieve after breakups, miscarriages, illnesses, job losses, and big moves as well. If a change took something important and your days feel shaped by it, grief counselling could be useful for a while. You decide the timing and the pace.
How soon after a loss should I start counselling?
There is no right window. Some people want a steady hour within days. Others come months later when life resumes and the weight stays. If you feel unsafe at any point, call Tele-MANAS on 14416 first. Both approaches are common and fine.
Will you make me talk about the hardest moment?
No. You choose what we talk about and how close we get. We can work with today's shape of the loss and build capacity slowly. If sharing the details helps, we will hold them carefully. If not, we will still have work to do.
Do you give homework or techniques?
Sometimes we try small experiments between sessions. Simple steps, chosen together, that could ease a day. If structure helps, we can use it. If you are flooded by tasks, we will keep it lighter and focus on steadiness in the room.
Can you prescribe or give a diagnosis if I need one?
I am a counsellor, not a doctor, so I cannot prescribe. If medication seems worth exploring or you need a formal diagnosis for HR or insurance, I will refer you to a psychiatrist or your GP and we can stay in touch.
Written by Satlaj Sachan, a counsellor in Bengaluru working Book a first conversation.