After a breakup the flat, heavy feeling is grief. Keep days small, feed and rest your body, cut stings, and tell someone you trust. Counselling offers company and a plan.
Short answer. Start by calling it grief and giving your body boring care. Keep the day small, eat something with salt, drink water, aim for sleep, and tell two trusted people that you are low so they can check in once today.
In short:
Keep it boring today. Your body is in shock after loss and runs better on salt, water, fresh air through a cracked window, and fewer pings, so topping those basics steadies you enough to make small choices when everything feels strange and unreal. Put a glass by the bed, nibble something salty or with protein, and leave the curtains open if mornings are hard.
Keep the day small and specific. Choose two things to do and pair them with two rests that you can stomach, like replying to one message and then lying down, or making something warm and then sitting by the window with your phone in another room.
Tell someone you trust that you are low, and ask for one-line check-ins at lunch and after dinner for a week. Memory is unreliable when you are sad and tired. Put the check-ins in your calendar so you do not carry the extra remembering. Make it easy.
This is grief work. You lost contact, structure, routines, and the future you thought you were walking toward, so your system reads danger and tries to slow you to conserve energy and avoid more hurt while it relearns life without the cues that used to settle you. Nothing is broken in you for running slow.
Sleep, hunger, sex drive, and focus can swing because your alarms were partly synced with another person's routine. Some people feel sad; others go numb; many get irritable, or work late just to avoid thinking. If anger is running the show for you, I wrote about ways to lower that flame here: How do I control anger and stress?.
Some readers say breakup depression. I hear low mood, numbed days, and a system doing clumsy protection. Labels can feel tidy and still leave the sink full, so I stay close to the tasks in front of us and the feelings that nudge while we do them.
Keep plans tiny today. Pick two anchors for the day that you try to keep even if you cry, like breakfast at the table and a stretch, then add one small thing if you have fuel. If those happen, the day counts. Skip the life overhaul for later.
Reduce daily stings where you can. Mute their socials, hide shared photos, and take location tags off for a while so your stomach does not drop with every accidental ping, and avoid late-night closure texts because trough hours make poor plans look reasonable when no daylight is left.
If you are considering counselling and wondering about rhythm, here is a plain note on practical patterns, including what weekly or fortnightly feels like inside a life with work and errands: How often do people go to therapy?. You can also wait and start later; this topic sits well with a few sessions, then space to practise between appointments.
I work with adults roughly 25 to 45. If you are under 25, please find someone who works with your age group. Couples need couples work, so if the goal is the relationship itself, look at Untangle or Heart It Out because those teams organise for two chairs and a shared task.
Safety comes first, always. When safety is in question, or you are thinking about ending your life, call Tele-MANAS on 14416, which is India's free 24/7 mental health helpline, and then tell someone nearby so your body is not alone with the fear once the call ends.
I am not a doctor and cannot prescribe; if medication is worth considering, meet a psychiatrist. DocVita is a marketplace with psychiatrists and 17 languages. Amaha runs a psychiatric hospital in Bengaluru, and Mindtalk / Cadabam's have 24/7 psychiatric and inpatient infrastructure in the city. For access through work or a university, 1to1help is employer-provided counselling, free to employees; YourDOST is often free through an employer or university and offers 20+ Indian languages.
I am a counsellor in Bengaluru, practising since 2015. My work is with adults roughly 25 to 45, in English and Hindi, over video and in person. Rafiq means the friend who walks with you, and that is my posture. I do not fix people and I do not diagnose.
We make this practical. In the room we sit where life actually hurts, which can be the bed, the notification tone, the commute, or the 6 pm dread, and then we try small experiments that bring relief without deleting your wish to love or be loved again. You hold the steering.
We also agree a pace your budget and energy can carry. If you want a sense of how that looks for most people, I wrote this plain note: How often do people go to therapy?. When you leave with nothing else, we will have a plan for the weekend you are dreading.
Keep tonight very small. Choose two items from the list below and do them, then put your phone at charging distance and try closing your eyes while a fan, soft music, an audiobook, or a quiet podcast hums in the background softly. No medals for overachieving. We are trying to make the next two hours pass without tearing your skin off.
If you still have fuel, lay out morning clothes, put a banana on the counter, set one alarm at a reasonable time, and fill a water bottle. Your future self will thank present-you by making the first ten minutes easier. If none of this happens, be kind to yourself and try two again tomorrow.
Prefer to browse tonight and pick someone later? For comparing many named practitioners, try TalktoAngel, Practo, TheMindClan, or DocVita. Online platforms like MindPeers, Manastha, BetterLYF, or HopeQure help you start quickly. Wysa is an Indian AI-first mental health app that escalates to a human when needed.
Is breakup depression real or am I overreacting?
It feels real because your body and mind are in grief. I do not diagnose you. Low mood, numbness, fog, and irritability after a breakup are common and miserable. Treat it as a loss. Keep days small, tend the basics, ask for contact. If it stays unbearable, speak to a counsellor.
How long will this take to pass?
There is no set timeline. Grief argues with calendars and rushes nobody. Rhythm helps: food, water, sleep, daylight, moving a little, and steady human contact. Many people notice the edges soften as ordinary days return, then spike again sometimes. If you feel stuck for weeks, book time with a counsellor.
Should I stay friends with my ex after a breakup?
Give yourself a cooling-off period before decisions. Friendship can be possible later, though early contact often keeps the wound open. You have permission to block or mute if pain drops. Set a review date when your stomach is calmer. Choose the arrangement that protects your sleep, work, appetite, and basic steadiness.
Is no-contact the only way to heal?
No-contact helps some people a lot. Others prefer low-contact for logistics or shared communities. Pick boundaries that reduce daily stings and let your body settle: muting, hiding photos, time-boxed replies, or archiving threads. Review weekly and adjust. If safety is in question or you feel at risk, call Tele-MANAS on 14416.
Do I need medication for breakup depression?
Sometimes medication is worth considering when sleep, appetite, energy, and function are stuck. I am not a doctor and cannot prescribe. Meet a psychiatrist if you want to explore it. DocVita has psychiatrists; Amaha runs a psychiatric hospital in Bengaluru; Mindtalk / Cadabam's have 24/7 psychiatric and inpatient infrastructure.
Written by Satlaj Sachan, a counsellor in Bengaluru working Book a first conversation.